For a variety of reasons, not least of which is the yearly changeover of residents in the residency programs, I am feeling a sense of nostalgia, of stock-taking, and a sense of the start of something new.
I'm now half-way through the specialty part of my residency and lately, I'm starting to feel like this is really what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm feeling like these are my patients and I know how to take care of them. More and more, I feel like I do a really good job of taking care of them.
I'm not trying to sound conceited because god knows I still struggle a lot with learning enough material, fast enough and well enough. But I feel like the taking care part, I've really got that down.
And it's also striking me that I'm a senior resident now; I'm one of the ones that people are going to look to for decision-making, not just for patient care, but for things like administrative and political issues that arise in the residency program and the department as a whole. It's gotten me started thinking about how I come across as a professional. These are things they don't teach us in medical school. These are things I haven't had time to even be aware of, as I was just trying to keep my head above water before. But now, in addition to being a caring technically competent doctor, you want me to learn leadership skills, business practice management, yikes!
The cool part is that this change excites me; I'm really looking forward to finding out who I can become now that I'm in a position of more power, and more respect (and now that certain other people are gone, but I think I did a pretty good job keeping that bit of drama out of things up until now, didn't I?)