tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22009862339819294282024-03-04T22:08:58.011-06:00RayGunGirlShannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-82163649561288107712010-05-12T18:28:00.003-06:002010-05-12T18:35:23.980-06:00A thousand different directionsI am realizing once again how long it has been since I posted anything here, and once again I know why. I hardly have time for the people and things in my "real" world, that to chronicle them here barely happens. I am studying for my first round of board exams. I am beginning to think about getting a real job (in a year). I have gotten my first paper published, am working on a second, and have about three more research projects in the works. I gave a talk to a group of neurosurgeons today (scary bunch, those) and it went really well. I was also asked to peer-review an article for an international journal. Things have been going amazingly well for me this year, just at a break-neck pace. <br /><br />All that being said, this week will be the last of my 20s. Next Tuesday I will turn 30. I'm not freaking out about it like some of my friends have as I feel like I am at a comfortable place in my life with regard to my career and my personal life. I'm feeling more a sense of reflection of the things I have done and a turning point; a chance to set an intention for the next ten years. I'm excited, anticipatory. I feel like the best things are yet to come in my life, and for that I feel extraordinarily lucky.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-47787036434266053452009-11-24T20:12:00.002-06:002009-11-24T20:21:45.655-06:00NAMASTE Giveaway!You absolutely must check out Knit Purl Gurl's blog for a giveaway of a fantastic Namaste Hermosa bag! I was lucky enough to get a Namaste bag for Christmas a couple years ago (one that's no longer available). It's great, it's just not big enough anymore. Enter <a href="http://www.knitpurlgurl.com/2009/11/namaste-hermosa-bag-review-giveaway.html">Knit Purl Gurl</a>, with her awesome giveaway of the Hermosa bag: check it out! She's got a great blog, too.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-83144727126963343402009-11-23T19:17:00.001-06:002009-11-23T19:17:48.329-06:00Abby Offerman | A Dog Named Christmas<a href=http://shar.es/aiBK9>Abby Offerman | A Dog Named Christmas</a><br /><br />Posted using <a href="http://sharethis.com">ShareThis</a>Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-32702478861991451142009-11-10T20:39:00.002-06:002009-11-10T20:42:16.005-06:00Protein powder a-wheyOk, sorry, I couldn't help myself. But you really must check out this delicious giveaway from <a href="http://www.thehealthyeverythingtarian.com/?p=4235">The Healthy Everythingtarian</a>, of some very interesting-looking Tera's Whey protein powder packets. I'm trying to bring more protein into my life, and these seem like a tasty way to try!Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-14874809827069555292009-08-12T16:16:00.002-06:002009-08-12T16:25:23.826-06:00Thinking about lifeI've been doing a lot of thinking about Life lately. I'm sure it comes from working on the brain tumors/pediatric tumors service for two months now. It seems so unfair sometimes, it seems so short. Other days, it seems so miraculous it makes me want to cry (and I do). There are days that are really hard, but you still come away feeling like a good doctor, that you helped people. And, there are days where nothing, absolutely nothing is right. <br /><br />But every job is that way sometimes, isn't it? <br /><br />I guess what these past months have got me thinking about, in my own life, is that it's going by fast. I'm growing up, things are going by me. I need to stop now and then and enjoy them. I need to stay in touch, with myself, my husband, my friends and family. <br /><br />In the grand scheme of things, it can all be lost, so quickly. Even all this hard work, all this intelligence I work so hard to gather, this career I'm working so hard to build. I see it lost in people. The things you don't lose are the ones who love you, the ones who you love back. When you're lucky, you don't lose too much of yourself, either.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-6181685016073627412009-07-06T18:19:00.001-06:002009-07-06T18:19:54.070-06:00Orange Swirls<div><a href="http://www.polyvore.com/orange_swirls/set?.mid=embed&id=10139732"><img width="400" alt="Orange Swirls" src="http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-set/BQcDAAAAAwoDanBnAAAABC5vdXQKFkhyNmdmNHRxM2hHOTRUUThZVWpQcncAAAACaWQKAWUAAAAEc2l6ZQ.jpg" title="Orange Swirls" height="400" border="0" /></a><br/><small><a href="http://www.polyvore.com/orange_swirls/set?.mid=embed&id=10139732">Orange Swirls</a> by <a href="http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/profile?.mid=embed&id=807259">Raygungirl</a> featuring <a href="http://www.polyvore.com/coach_bags/shop?brand=Coach&category_id=35">Coach bags</a></small></div>Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-32250889391758376392009-07-06T17:12:00.002-06:002009-07-06T17:17:55.242-06:00Undergrad Fab Giveaway!!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlSvc0HP2vSByHn5pYA1gmqs2wizMDvjnLJiTuKoaj_oPXO-Z6BmFnDqh3-BDQNBA2dk6SwrNy4EiIoTJDFznfkUgmnZ1W1HUE5lFniCEgejMoqURoFOaqFyeOACam5VOrycScLwMr3tfl/s1600-h/Marybag.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlSvc0HP2vSByHn5pYA1gmqs2wizMDvjnLJiTuKoaj_oPXO-Z6BmFnDqh3-BDQNBA2dk6SwrNy4EiIoTJDFznfkUgmnZ1W1HUE5lFniCEgejMoqURoFOaqFyeOACam5VOrycScLwMr3tfl/s320/Marybag.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355490293280287074" /></a><br />Please go visit the fabulous <a href="http://undergradfab.blogspot.com/2009/07/my-first-giveaway.html">Undergrad Fab</a> and check out her amazing HANDMADE and GOODIE-STUFFED handbag giveaway. It is gorgeous and funky and you seriously need this bag. So go see her blog and her enviable style, and her amazing sewing and designing skills. And maybe win that bag for yourself!Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-61887446224784243642009-06-28T08:43:00.002-06:002009-06-28T08:51:26.781-06:00Chickdowntown Scarf Giveaway!You must check out this amazing giveaway from <a href="http://kittyscreations.wordpress.com/2009/06/27/chickdowntown-tolani-scarf-giveaway/">Simple Elegance</a>; a gorgeous Tolani scarf which looks like it was pulled directly out of the Mediterranean Sea. I want! I also want a million other things from <a href="http://www.chickdowntown.com">Chickdowntown</a>, the contest sponsor, so check out that website, too.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-89986274411429288512009-06-12T21:28:00.005-06:002009-06-12T21:40:07.606-06:00Slummin' it in scrubs<div><a href="http://www.polyvore.com/slummin_it_in_scrubs/set?.mid=embed&id=9452544"><img width="400" alt="Slummin' it in scrubs" src="http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-set/BQcDAAAAAwoDanBnAAAABC5vdXQKFmdHYlVIOHBYM2hHVExXNmJyLUlCbGcAAAACaWQKAWUAAAAEc2l6ZQ.jpg" title="Slummin' it in scrubs" height="400" border="0" /></a><br/><small><a href="http://www.polyvore.com/slummin_it_in_scrubs/set?.mid=embed&id=9452544">Slummin' it in scrubs</a> by <a href="http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/profile?.mid=embed&id=807259">Raygungirl</a> on <a href="http://www.polyvore.com/">Polyvore.com</a></small></div><br /><br />So even when I can't get it together with my clothes (I woke up at 3 am this morning and could not get back to sleep for the life of me, so I dragged myself out of bed at 5:30, and was not feeling a big fashion day), I still like to bling it up a bit. My necklace is the Tiffany Eternal Circle necklace I bought when I went to NYC when I was 18 - I saved my money, and I think it was the only thing I bought that trip, but I loved it then and 11 years later I love it still. The earrings are CZs that my husband got for me over Christmas, and I feel sooooo Happy Housewife when I wear them, I love it.<br /><br />My Dansko clogs are my best shoes ever, so comfortable that I've worn them for 36-40 hours at a time (thank you internship) and sometimes worn them while standing on one place for 12 hours at a time (thank you surgery rotation). I know Sally at <a href="http://www.alreadypretty.com/">Already Pretty</a> has already attested to the magic of Danskos, and I have several other pairs in various styles, but these are my classics, the originals, and also the ones that really make me feels like a "doctor" - yes, I know that's silly. I also try to put on makeup and do my hair on these days; if not, I feel like a total slob, and the day usually just doesn't go well.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-4796567678120737062009-06-12T20:46:00.002-06:002009-06-12T21:03:15.450-06:00Etsy Favs<p class="zemanta-img" style="margin: 1em; float: right; display: block; width: 164px;"><a href="http://www.crunchbase.com/company/etsy"><img src="http://www.crunchbase.com/assets/images/resized/0000/2839/2839v1-max-450x450.jpg" alt="Image representing Etsy as depicted in CrunchBase" style="border: medium none ; display: block;" width="154" height="80" /></a><span class="zemanta-img-attribution">Image via <a href="http://www.crunchbase.com">CrunchBase</a></span></p>After talking to the loverly <a href="http://undergradfab.blogspot.com">Undergrad Fab</a> tonight, I had the thought to post some of my favorite <a class="zem_slink" href="http://www.etsy.com" title="Etsy" rel="homepage">Etsy</a> sellers from time to time, as well as some of the quirkier ones.<br /><br />My first post is a shop that I can't even remember how I came across, but as soon as I did, I knew it would serve me well, even though it's not my typical taste. It's <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5195554">A Well-Dressed Bullet</a>, and they are a great little company in Ontario repurposing both new and used bullets into creative things. This is perfect for my dad, an ex-military man, hunter, and pen aficionado. I can also see a clay pigeon clock in his future, but that's another occasion perhaps. They have excellent and responsive customer service, letting me know right away that the order would not arrive in time for Father' Day (which I knew), and asking if I still wanted to place the order. Also, they offered to wrap it up, knowing it was to arrive as a gift. This was all convo'd back and forth as I sit here writing this post. They also do funky earrings, bolo ties, lights, keychains, and some amazing belt buckles, too. I've never seen anything else like it, check them out!<br /> <div style="margin-top: 10px; height: 15px;" class="zemanta-pixie"><a class="zemanta-pixie-a" href="http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/27b3ee93-9e63-4b4b-b896-1e540aaf8bd3/" title="Reblog this post [with Zemanta]"><img style="border: medium none ; float: right;" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=27b3ee93-9e63-4b4b-b896-1e540aaf8bd3" alt="Reblog this post [with Zemanta]" /></a><span class="zem-script pretty-attribution"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://static.zemanta.com/readside/loader.js" defer="defer"></script></span></div>Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-77139814146779693692009-06-11T17:47:00.003-06:002009-06-12T20:45:46.917-06:00Finding my balance<p class="zemanta-img" style="margin: 1em; float: right; display: block; width: 310px;"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Yogisculpture.JPG"><img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b0/Yogisculpture.JPG/300px-Yogisculpture.JPG" alt="A sculpture of a Hindu yogi in the Birla Mandi..." style="border: medium none ; display: block;" width="300" height="400" /></a><span class="zemanta-img-attribution">Image via <a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Yogisculpture.JPG">Wikipedia</a></span></p>I'm starting to realize that I need to plan how I want my life to be, in order to achieve those things. If I continually roll along behind the eight ball, then that's where I'll always be. I don't want to over-plan things, or become so rigid in my goals that I can't adapt to circumstance, but at the same time, it's time for me to figure out where I'm going in my career and take specific steps to get there. Same thing for my personal life. What do I want? Run a marathon? Establish a daily yoga practice? Become involved in charity? None of these things will happen if I just try to remember to do them once in awhile, I have to make a conscious choice, a conscious plan to do so. So; I'm not sure what that plan is yet, but I'm beginning to get some ideas in place. I know where I want to look for jobs, I know that I have a two year time frame in which to get one. I have to maximize that time in order to land one in which I can use the best technology to treat my patients, and provide them the best care that I know how. I have thoughts on this, and I'm starting to lay out a manner in which to act on them.<br /> <div style="margin-top: 10px; height: 15px;" class="zemanta-pixie"><a class="zemanta-pixie-a" href="http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/9ba5c33a-5d1e-4f09-8698-f55781898fb5/" title="Reblog this post [with Zemanta]"><img style="border: medium none ; float: right;" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=9ba5c33a-5d1e-4f09-8698-f55781898fb5" alt="Reblog this post [with Zemanta]" /></a><span class="zem-script pretty-attribution"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://static.zemanta.com/readside/loader.js" defer="defer"></script></span></div>Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-81450721660646937842009-06-04T20:15:00.003-06:002009-06-04T20:26:19.925-06:00Growing UpFor a variety of reasons, not least of which is the yearly changeover of residents in the residency programs, I am feeling a sense of nostalgia, of stock-taking, and a sense of the start of something new.<br /><br />I'm now half-way through the specialty part of my residency and lately, I'm starting to feel like this is really what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm feeling like these are <span style="font-style: italic;">my</span> patients and I know how to take care of them. More and more, I feel like I do a really good job of taking care of them.<br /><br />I'm not trying to sound conceited because god knows I still struggle a lot with learning enough material, fast enough and well enough. But I feel like the <span style="font-style: italic;">taking care</span> part, I've really got that down.<br /><br />And it's also striking me that I'm a senior resident now; I'm one of the ones that people are going to look to for decision-making, not just for patient care, but for things like administrative and political issues that arise in the residency program and the department as a whole. It's gotten me started thinking about how I come across as a professional. These are things they don't teach us in medical school. These are things I haven't had time to even be aware of, as I was just trying to keep my head above water before. But now, in addition to being a caring technically competent doctor, you want me to learn leadership skills, business practice management, yikes!<br /><br />The cool part is that this change excites me; I'm really looking forward to finding out who I can become now that I'm in a position of more power, and more respect (and now that certain other people are gone, but I think I did a pretty good job keeping that bit of drama out of things up until now, didn't I?)Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-12531271977243723452009-06-04T18:17:00.002-06:002009-06-04T18:21:55.161-06:00Daily Wear 6/4/09<div><a href="http://www.polyvore.com/09/set?.mid=embed&id=9210100"><img width="400" alt="6/4/09" src="http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-set/BQcDAAAAAwoDanBnAAAABC5vdXQKFk9ON2tKbVpSM2hHVFNlU3pBZFIzTXcAAAACaWQKAWUAAAAEc2l6ZQ.jpg" title="6/4/09" height="400" border="0" /></a><br/><small><a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.polyvore.com/09/set?.mid=embed&id=9210100">6/4/09</a> by <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/profile?.mid=embed&id=807259">Raygungirl</a> featuring <a href="http://www.polyvore.com/old_navy/shop?brand=Old+Navy">Old Navy</a></small></div><br /><br />This was originally over a black jersey dress with cute black flats, but that all changed once it was cold and rainy this morning! It was a perfect cool-spring-day look, even though it has been and will be in the eighties the rest of the week. More running around through crazy clinics punctuated by meetings. It was comfy enough that I nodded off in my noon meeting (oops). The fact that I had no time to get any coffee or diet coke this morning AT ALL had NOTHING to do with that either, I'm sure. Let me tell you, that's far from my natural state.<br /><br />So far polyvore is working out ok for me...the actual scarf I wore today is Target's Merona Paisley Jamawar scarf, but apparently it no longer exists on their website. I think mine is prettier. Maybe I'll take a picture of it separately and post it on its own. But you get the idea.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-7854660885744958982009-06-03T20:52:00.002-06:002009-06-03T20:58:31.282-06:00Daily Wear 6/3/09<div><a href="http://www.polyvore.com/black_white_red_all_over/set?.mid=embed&id=9208874"><img width="400" alt="Black, White and Red All Over" src="http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-set/BQcDAAAAAwoDanBnAAAABC5vdXQKFkdHaWhkTEZRM2hHZVZVTUVYbUhFWmcAAAACaWQKAWUAAAAEc2l6ZQ.jpg" title="Black, White and Red All Over" height="400" border="0" /></a><br/><small><a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.polyvore.com/black_white_red_all_over/set?.mid=embed&id=9208874">Black, White and Red All Over</a> by <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/profile?.mid=embed&id=807259">Raygungirl</a> featuring <a href="http://www.polyvore.com/old_navy/shop?brand=Old+Navy">Old Navy</a></small></div><br /><br />I got it to work! (Sort of). So these are close to the earrings I wore...I got them from my sister Mary from a boutique in Minneapolis, and cannot find a picture (and polyvore won't let me link a personal pic, I don't think), but they look awfully similar, filigreed all the way through the center rather than just at the bottom. I loved it, I felt very put together. Lots of running around the hospital to see patients and to meetings as well. My only complaint was that the cotton got wrinkly by the end of the day.<br /><br />AND! I am such a huge convert to Dr. Scholl's high heel inserts that Stacy London hawks on TV. I put them in these heels, and they give me better, more comfortable support than my flats, no joke. Give them a try, your feet will thank you :)Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-89138878621917434262009-06-02T19:26:00.002-06:002009-06-02T20:22:55.932-06:00Why is it so damn difficult to take good pictures? I have been trying to get some good ones because I have put together some good outfits this week and it just isn't working. I need some serious help, here.<br /><br />In any case, head on over to Blissful Style and check out her awesome giveaway. A mini laptop that looks like a designer clutch? <span style="font-style: italic;">I DIE</span>. http://blissfullydomestic.com/blissful-style/giveaway-hp-mini-vivienne-tam-edition-from-intel/Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-39400551593936921272009-05-29T09:08:00.001-06:002009-05-29T09:08:55.966-06:00Style Symmetry Giveaway!You absolutely must head over to Style Symmetry and enter he fabulous 1000th post giveaway! Enter through May 31st, she has some amazing prizes! http://stylesymmetry.com/2009/05/20/the-1000th-post-giveaway/Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-41056708728536595972009-05-28T15:02:00.001-06:002009-05-28T15:02:28.599-06:00Ok, the polyvore thing seemed like a good idea at the time but in practice it's a pain in the a**. So maybe I'll take headless photos. We'll see. I had on an adorable outfit yesterday involving a new silk scarf-as-belt and gold carved bangle from my sister, undergradfab.blogspot.com and it is not recorded. :( Oh well, just have to wear it again!!Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-49857325140471508662009-05-26T17:06:00.002-06:002009-05-26T17:18:40.026-06:00Sharp-Dressed DocI've really been getting into the daily-wear blogs lately, and the fact that my fabulous sister is behind <a href="http://undergradfab.blogspot.com">Undergrad Fab</a> certainly doesn't hurt my interest. She, my other wonderful sister and my mom all got me some fantastic accessories for my birthday this year that I am just dying to play with to start mixing up my wardrobe a bit. And I really would like to get some feedback on all of these things, it's just....<br /><br />I get sort of a weird feeling about posting photos of myself everyday all across the interwebs. At least on facebook, I can control who sees what and when. But, keeping in good mind that I have patients and future employers who do use the internet, I think it's more prudent to post in the style of <a href="http://www.polyvore.com">polyvore</a>. So I'm going to try that for awhile and see how it goes. I'm not always going to promise that this will be a "daily" wear thing, either...lord knows I'm lucky if I remember to do everything I have to do, let alone extraneous things. But I want to try it and see how it goes. I'm open for any thoughts and opinions!Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-13103151467279397192009-05-26T17:03:00.000-06:002009-05-26T17:03:40.879-06:00Things A Boutique Owner Sees: Giveaway Giveaway Giveaway<a href="http://thingsaboutiqueownersees.blogspot.com/2009/05/giveaway-giveaway-giveaway.html">Check out this awesome necklace giveaway from Things a Boutique Owner Sees: Things A Boutique Owner Sees: Giveaway Giveaway Giveaway</a>Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-78486797457647519112008-10-18T21:22:00.003-06:002008-10-18T21:34:21.337-06:00Damn, it's been awhileI always say that. I also always seem to abandon this again. Oh well.<br /><br />Today I was going through a ton of pictures that I didn't even know we had, from about the past 4 years or so. I scrutinized myself, as I always do. But I had a different eye this time. I loved how I looked in most of the pictures...I could rarely EVER say that at the time. Then, over the past 2 years or so (really since I started putting on weight during my recovery), I noticed that I dropped out of those pictures. I know how awful I felt as I felt my body changing seemingly without my control. I seem more comfortable in my own skin now, but seeing those pictures made me realize how cute I was. (am)*.<br /><br />When Nick's dad and my grandma died, they each had huge poster boards with pictures of them with all their family and friends. It made me realize that I want to be able to have that kind of record of our lives and the wonderful times and people we've known. So, I resolved to get over my photo-phobia and start taking and being in more pictures.<br /><br />I really missed the body I had when I was looking through those. I don't want to say it's "inspired" me to lose this weight, as I think I have been, slowly over the past year or so. But I do have allll those cute clothes, and I was really pretty then. (and now). So. We shall see where this goes. IN any case, since getting Harley (oh yeah, we got a dog!) I've been out walking almost every day, and averaging around 2 miles. So that's something. I'd really love to get back to running on a regular basis. I was just starting to get to the point where I really WANTED to run, and for whatever reason, I stopped. I felt really good then, too.<br /><br />I also realized how much I miss having all my good friends close by. I also really miss having peopel over on a regular basis. I loved doing that when we were in Milwaukee...after a night out at a bar, or concert or restaurant, people always seemed to gravitate back to our place to hang out, and a lot of those pictures were taken during those times. I miss that. I love our house now, and I love Nick and Harley, but we're home by ourselves a lot. I feel like I'll get shot down inviting people over from the department, because most of the residents have kids now, but it wouldn't hurt. It doesn't have to be the same as it was in Milwaukee, but I really enjoyed that and want to maybe make it part of our lives here, too.<br /><br />*The voice reminding me that I'm still pretty, even though I don't always feel it.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-65725591693723379082008-04-02T19:50:00.002-06:002008-04-02T19:55:13.555-06:00FLOGAs per <a href="http://www.therotund.com/">The Rotund</a>, I am thinking of keeping a list of what I've been eating - no quantitative portions, no calories, etc....maybe feelings associated with the foods. Just because I'm curious, and I think it's no longer going to be triggering for me. If it is, I'll stop. But it's been so prevalent in my mind lately, and hopefully writing it down will get it out of there!!<br /><br />And so, today:<br />2 whole grain oatmeal packets<br />3 mini chocolate chip cookies<br />1/2 turket sandwich on wheat<br />1 bag potato chips<br />1 small brownie<br />1 oatmeal raisin cookie<br />handful tortilla chips<br />southwest chicken breast<br />jalapeno cheese mashed potatoes (YUM)<br />4 thin mints<br /><br />Very much wanting sweets lately, and I'm not sure why. I'm ok with it for now, but am sort of curious to see what I'll do and how I'll feel without them. For whatever reason, I'm just not wanting fruits, vegetables, salads, etc. lately. I'm trying to be ok with that. We'll see.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-5425127090729094092008-03-06T19:07:00.003-06:002008-03-06T19:22:48.240-06:00Dreaming treeI woke up last night, about an hour after I'd fallen asleep, sobbing. I had one of the worst dreams I'd ever had - I dreamt that my husband had decided he was sick of being married to me. He wanted to go back to the life he had in college, and had already been putting money away into a separate account. He had been bringing people through our house in an attempt to sell it, as he was going to move back to our hometown, leaving me here in our new town. It felt so, so vivid, and I was absolutely heartbroken. I just wanted him to hold me and comfort me, and when he rolled over in bed, as he was tired and too warm to snuggle at that moment, I felt like I was being rejected all over again, in my still-dream-like state.<br /><br />It occured to me that just before I fell asleep, I had been listening to one of the guided meditations that I've been using since I started my recovery. In the beginning of each recording, the therapist remarks that these can occasionally bring up strong emotions/reactions, and to be aware of that, and see how they fit in. I had never really experienced this, but I think that last night's dream may have been one of those deep dark experiences.<br /><br />My greatest fear, I think, is that I will lose him. Most specifically, that he will decide that I'm not worth staying in this town that he doesn't like, and doesn't have many friends, simply for my residency training. (This, ironically, gets back to my belief that I'm not worth putting people out of their way in order to satisy my needs). I think this may be one of the things that I try to cover up with food, this terror that I'm going to be alone. Not just alone, but without him, specifically.<br /><br />I know that he loves me, and that he supports me in my residency process, and that he's not going anywhere, and that he realizes that this is a short-term arrangement in order to achieve a long-term goal. But part of what strikes me is that I can't picture myself without him. I'm not sure I'm enough all by myself. I'm not sure what that means. I do know that it means I still have a lot to figure out, and that I've probably regressed a little in my progress, since we've moved and I've stopped seeing my therapist. I will have to mull this over.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-33784537718901978122008-03-02T20:29:00.003-06:002008-03-02T20:46:43.510-06:00Still a NewbieIt's hard to believe that in 4 months, I will have completed my first year of radiation oncology training. I know it will go fast, and what worries me is that I still have SO MUCH to learn. My senior residents tell me this is common, and does go away, but that doesn't make me feel much better.<br /><br />I'm also still trying to strike a balance in my life - I can easily spend all my free time studying, and have recently. I miss yoga, going to the gym more than twice a week, reading books for pleasure, etc. etc. I am realizing that I will be happier if I continue to incorporate these things into my life, and therefore more productive, less stressed, have less insomnia...I just have to remember that when it comes to crunch time.<br /><br />In that vein, I have started training to ride a <a href="http://www.ridecincinnati.org/">metric century</a> with my bestest girl, <a href="http://community.mkeonline.com/blogs/trainwithtim/about.aspx">Hillary</a>. She is so inspiring to me, taking such control of her health, and has helped me to realize that setting a goal to achieve will not only help me focus my efforts at the gym, but also helps me to see my body as a tool to accomplish something, rather than as an object to be seen. It's been gorgeous here over the weekend, so I got my riding shoes outfitted with new SPD clips, and am hoping I will get my bike in shape to ride before the weather goes sideways again. If not, though, there's always spin class, which is currently kicking my ass. In a good way:<br /><br />Me: (driving home after spin class) Hi hon, I just wanted to let you know that I am dying. So if I don't make it home from the grocery store, I'm dead somewhere.<br /><br />Him: (answering the phone, groggy as I had woken him up) Uh...what? Where are you?<br /><br />I then had to explain my attempt at humor, which makes it not funny anymore.<br />I also saw one of <a href="http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.starling-fitness.com/wp-content/P1000185.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.starling-fitness.com/archives/2005/12/15/working-out-with-an-indoor-bike-trainer/&h=300&w=400&sz=96&hl=en&start=1&sig2=3MtF2UgS3OaV79Ct5zwHsg&tbnid=D_lVEu97cX7F7M:&tbnh=93&tbnw=124&ei=z2XLR_vzJJnkediKwQw&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbicycle%2Btrainer%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den">these</a> at the bike shop today, and WANT. ONE. Badly. That way when the weather is wonky, I can ride in my own comfy basement. Much cheaper than riding a computrainer for $30/hour at another local bike shop. Yikes, can you believe that??<br /><br />Ok, physics studying awaits. I am SO GLAD I am training for this field in the era of CT scanners and computers...reading about digitizing xray films makes me want to put my highlighter through my eye.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-71676169360076071832008-01-30T21:52:00.000-06:002008-01-30T21:58:54.593-06:00The Christmas toy tutorial for the confused parents who gifted it:<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcbWbUHU0Qt7ydnnrWM9_6M5ayhzdpsyTwDscUJ_iJ3SXTsX_BTtDyzI-QSIYAPhf0IVFXbeYTM2ch6LlGKuXlJduqkBYMRER9w2XPJR0fkZXY7uf0p1EQDAv8pjhnajzEWdMo0eTjkayg/s1600-h/Knitting+050.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5161484977400646690" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcbWbUHU0Qt7ydnnrWM9_6M5ayhzdpsyTwDscUJ_iJ3SXTsX_BTtDyzI-QSIYAPhf0IVFXbeYTM2ch6LlGKuXlJduqkBYMRER9w2XPJR0fkZXY7uf0p1EQDAv8pjhnajzEWdMo0eTjkayg/s320/Knitting+050.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2_xFqNJMn8MgyQIDsBGrGj6Po9-bN5rMWwRQ-wPJvdFIHFINAi69e09gvZ6pDBh_FiGQprny6PiOKszs1kG35GnyE6EXocViebUxiYgr8NMsSt4Hw8_T2emtcXKoH0Y_Vd8B39Z5_gYjf/s1600-h/Knitting+051.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5161484985990581298" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2_xFqNJMn8MgyQIDsBGrGj6Po9-bN5rMWwRQ-wPJvdFIHFINAi69e09gvZ6pDBh_FiGQprny6PiOKszs1kG35GnyE6EXocViebUxiYgr8NMsSt4Hw8_T2emtcXKoH0Y_Vd8B39Z5_gYjf/s320/Knitting+051.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA_Ra624VHzqODkX6MyO0Lfr07qeL_P7I3qU6v3AlUpvCbuaShJZ0qhb9yFhbxabIR28-mR5FBLgRURisD9z2RlLi6WRdIfGCwMFtxjBw4WfDvouO_QdTdMopgc0Uj1IhSbSlLm5PYxp7h/s1600-h/Knitting+052.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5161484990285548610" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA_Ra624VHzqODkX6MyO0Lfr07qeL_P7I3qU6v3AlUpvCbuaShJZ0qhb9yFhbxabIR28-mR5FBLgRURisD9z2RlLi6WRdIfGCwMFtxjBw4WfDvouO_QdTdMopgc0Uj1IhSbSlLm5PYxp7h/s320/Knitting+052.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj13Jb2-oVtWYQA0neOzWtsPmgnl8BHG59xb8T111nSlOoWP4PD_5hePEc7FV_Bh07jpfnBlzrcQTZsgOAW1u1eTkfCFBehTu3l4j3uyaYxisIl2BUJ_fWCv_PIFPU-2Yp_tOBxd-uK76SY/s1600-h/Knitting+055.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5161484994580515922" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj13Jb2-oVtWYQA0neOzWtsPmgnl8BHG59xb8T111nSlOoWP4PD_5hePEc7FV_Bh07jpfnBlzrcQTZsgOAW1u1eTkfCFBehTu3l4j3uyaYxisIl2BUJ_fWCv_PIFPU-2Yp_tOBxd-uK76SY/s320/Knitting+055.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200986233981929428.post-35248249167014246002007-12-30T22:28:00.000-06:002007-12-30T23:50:26.367-06:00What a year for a new yearI always feel contemplative around this time of year. In my more obsessive days, I would have written out resolutions, committed (or re-committed) to my diet plan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">du</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">jour</span>, planned out my exercise schedule, and berated myself for not weighing what I thought I should (even if it was unhealthy).<br />This year I am trying to avoid the obsession with remaking myself. I am trying to organize myself for work, which I am realizing I need desperately. I have had quite enough of trying to keep it all in my head, and then failing miserably. So, I am making up a study schedule (to try to avoid cramming), and making up a patient database, so I can keep track of who I've seen, what they've got, how it's been treated and what I need to do for them. These are lofty goals, and while they may come across as a bit obsessive, I've driven myself crazy over the past 6 months without such a plan, so we'll give it a go.<br />As far as my body goes, it's more of a struggle. I know I've gained weight over the past year, and I know it's been part of my recovery. I also know I've started to shed some of the (really excessive) weight I put on during the move/house buying/new job starting phase. Which is good, but I'm still not entirely resistant to the barrage of ads for diet and fitness plans that are out at this time of year. I'm hoping that instead of trying to overhaul myself, I can stay focused on who I am, with or without whatever weight issues I've got going on, continue listening to my own inner voice, including my own hunger and tastes, and recognize that there are things I can do to make myself feel better that are productive - such as going to the gym and to yoga.<br />So in a way, I am trying to change things. But I feel like I'm trying to change them by getting back to myself, or even getting to know myself, as opposed to trying to become something that I'm not, and setting myself up for failure.<br />In addition, I think this "listening to myself" mantra will lead me back into therapy. Not that I need anything intensive - I think I've been dealing with my eating disorder remarkably well lately - but I did like having a third party to help sort out my feelings and experiences. I've got a referral, and plan on making an appointment soon.<br />Finally, I feel like I am taking a huge, cleansing breath. The end of this year has thrown so many things my way that I haven't been quite sure how to deal with - not the least of which include feeling overwhelmed at work, and losing my Grandma right before the holidays. So I'm taking a few days just to breathe. To be good to myself, hang out with my husband, get my thoughts together, and breathe.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14957132833107247225noreply@blogger.com0